A Fresh Start
by frank.kilgenschmidt
Summary: Because I hated that they killed Ziva, I ended up writing a new ending. How I think Ziva's and Tony's stories should have continued after they left the show. TIVA. Going to be several chapters before complete. Not a dead fic, just lacking time to continue writing it right now.
1. Chapter 1

**I was very upset at the fact that they killed off Ziva. Based on that, I figured to write a story about how I think it should have ended. I don't own anything NCIS, obviously. I made Tony Catholic because I figured he would reach for a crutch, and since I'm Catholic, I figured why not. Don't like it, tough luck. If you enjoy it, feel free to let me know. Enjoy.**

He smiled as he bent over and kissed her goodnight. "Goodnight Tali, sleep well."

"Goodnight Abba. Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

Tony closed the door and made his way back into the kitchen. He pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured two drinks, sliding one over to the priest standing on the other side of the counter. Tasting the whiskey, the priest smiled and gave a whistle of approval. "You only buy the best."

"Well Father, I rarely drink anymore, so when I do it's only the good stuff."

Father Danielson grinned. "Remind me to drink more often with you."

They settled in the living room, enjoying the whiskey and the hockey game. So far, the Penguins were ripping the Capitals apart, much to Father Danielson's delight. In time though, the priest looked over at Tony and noted the small, sad smile on his face. "Want to talk?"

Tony took a deep breath. "Two years since she died. To the day, Father."

Father Danielson nodded. He made it a point to be there for his flock when they needed it. Tony had joined his parish just under two years ago and had eventually opened up to him about how Tali was his. The love of his life left him four years ago promising to return, then died two years ago without ever telling him about his child, which was left in his care. Father Danielson made sure to stop over at least two nights each year for a drink and to talk: the anniversary when she left him, and the anniversary when she died.

"Father, how long do you have to fight each day with the pain of losing the one you loved?"

This time, it was Father Danielson who smiled sadly. "Tony, the pain never goes away. It changes, and God grants the grace to deal with it each day a little better. You pray for them, offer your pain and sacrifices for them, and trust. Even after 15 years I miss her and my children. Yet, in that loss, God opened me to my vocation, and the source of great joy in my life."

Tony glanced over at him, seeing the sadness, yet peace in the priest's eyes. Father Danielson had been happily married at 21, totally smitten and in love with his beautiful wife. Four years later, with three lovely children, disaster struck in the form of a tractor trailer. He woke in the hospital to the sight of a priest and his brother, when they told him that his family was dead. It took a minute to understand what he was being told, and he said through his tears "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Lord." And completely broke down. It took him six months and counseling before he recovered enough to start doing more than getting by. After three more years of intense prayer, he joined the seminary, and was ordained after six years.

"You will have great joy in your life, Tony. Just remain open to it."

Tony's eyes went to Tali's room and said "I already do." He laughed. "You know, she threw a fit about eating supper tonight. Didn't like the hamburgers. I had to take away her stuffed dog until she would eat." He sighed. "She's my life now, and I wouldn't trade her for the world."

They watched the rest of the 2nd period of the game in silence, when Father Danielson started moving to the door.

"Unfortunately Tony, it is getting late and I have the 7am mass tomorrow. Thank you very much for the drink. I don't usually get the good stuff." He laughed with a wink.

"Not a problem Father. Thank you for coming out. Makes it easier to handle everything."

"Always, my son. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to call, day or night. Take care of yourself Tony."

They shook hands, and the priest left. Tony made his way to Tali's room and looked in, smiling to himself. She looked so much like her mom. _Snores like her too_ , he chuckled. He quietly shut the door behind him, and slowly walked out to collapsed on the couch to finish the game. The Penguins finished destroying the Capitals 6-1. He was just turning off the TV when he heard a quiet knock on the door.

"It's 11 at night, who the heck is that?"

He walked over to the door, unlocked and opened it, and froze.

"No." The word came from his numbed lips. It wasn't possible.

"Tony?" Quietly. Vulnerably. A question.

"Z...Ziva?"


	2. Chapter 2

_He walked over to the door, unlocked and opened it, and froze._

 _"No." The word came from his numbed lips. It wasn't possible._

 _"Tony?" Quietly. Vulnerably. A question._

 _"Z...Ziva?"_

* * *

His mind went blank as he stared at her. This wasn't possible. She was dead. For two years he struggled to accept that fact. He had fought tooth and nail to accept it and move on with life, to keep from continuing to run around the world to find her. _Like Somalia_. Tali needed a stable home, with Tony looking after her instead of constantly looking back and sliding out of the present: a father who put her needs first. He only indulged himself after she was in bed, and even then he fought it.

 _This isn't possible,_ Tony thought. After a full minute, he finally moved. Very slowly, his hand began to reach out. She stood very still as his hand began to reach for her cheek. He almost pulled back right before touching her, afraid that she would vanish. He finally touched her cheek. It was wonderfully solid. Wonderfully real. Wonderfully there. His Ziva was alive at his front door.

He swept her into his arms, clinging to her as she held him close. He shook with the force of his sobs, crying into her hair. _She's alive_. His Ziva was alive. She held him close, whispering in his ear over and over again, "I am ok Tony. I am alive. I am here." It was her voice. Her lovely accent. It made him cry harder, clinging to her like a drowning man to a life raft. It took him 5 minutes to calm down enough to talk.

"How... What... When... How-".

"Anthony." He stopped talking and just looked at her. She was as beautiful as she was when he had seen her last, when his heart broke on the tarmac. She smiled gently at him. "May I come in? It's a little chilly and your door has been open a while." He moved silently and lead her in, closing the door behind them. She looked at him after she was in, and said "Tali?". Tony lead her to Tali's room, and Ziva walked in. She smiled through happy tears as she spent 15 minutes caressing her daughter's hair, watching Tali sleeping peacefully. _How I missed her. My little Tali._ She kissed her forehead, and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.

* * *

Tony watched them for several minutes. Then his brain finally caught up with what exactly was going on. Ziva was not, in fact, dead. She was alive, in his house, gently stroking his daughter - _their_ daughter's - hair. How she was here was pretty self-explanatory. Orli lied about Ziva's death, and Ziva had gone into hiding. She was, of course, ex-Mossad. She could hide, or be hidden, so well that noone could find her. But why was she back, two years after her "death"? _This is giving me a headache...What the hell is going on?_

Tony padded away silently into the kitchen again, and unlocked the liquor cabinet for the second time that night. _Only one drink, Tony. Don't run down that rabbit hole again._ He poured a double shot of whiskey. A very healthy double shot, given that his nerves were completely shot. The burning of the whiskey in his throat cleared his head slightly, and he didn't like where thinking lead him.

Why did she leave Tali for two years after Kort was dead? Why did she cut Tony out of Tali's life? He had wanted a family so badly, but he just couldn't find the right woman after Ziva had left. And after she had died - or didn't die - he was too broken to look for anyone yet. Why did she cut him out? And why was she back? Did she think she could just waltz in and take Tali, the bright spot in his life, away? Tony's heart hurt thinking about that. Surely Ziva wouldn't do that to him...would she?

And if she would stay, would she let him be the father to his child, as she would be the mother? He knew he still loved Ziva. He still desired to serve her as best he could; to protect and care for her even if she was fully capable of killing him with a paperclip if she desired. He wanted to bring her back into his life, to raise Tali and be a family together. The desire for that rushed back into him so fiercely that tears filled his eyes. He didn't know what to think yet. So Tony did what Tony always did when faced with something terrifying. He began praying, and masked his emotions until he gathered more information.

* * *

When Ziva got to the kitchen, she saw Tony with a double shot of whiskey in his hand, eyes locked on her. Yet, she couldn't read his eyes, or anything. He was completely deadpan. She was shocked at the change that had come over him. Then she realized it. He had locked down again. _To keep me from hurting him again._

"Why are you here?" He said in a dead voice.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Why are you here?" He said in a dead voice._

* * *

"Couldn't get you out of my head, I guess." she said, hoping that would introduce a little levity. She cursed silently as soon as she did, seeing the pain flash through his eyes before he locked it down again and stared at his glass. _Not the time or place, David._

"Neither could I." He paused. Ziva jumped at the _crack_ as Tony forcefully put his glass on the counter-top and said sharply "Dammit Ziva, why are you here!? How!? I thought you left me, gone forever in Israel to forget your past! To forget me! You were supposed to be dead now for two years! After all these years, why are you back!? " He looked up at her again, tears streaming down his face. "I thought you were dead..." He finished quietly with a choked sob.

She had tears in her eyes as she saw the pain in his eyes; the anger, betrayal, loss, fear. He looked so vulnerable, and it broke her heart to see him like this. "I am so sorry for all I did to you..." She said through her tears. "I know I don't deserve it, but please let me explain to you?" She asked. He looked into her eyes, knowing he needed to hear what she had to say. At least for closure. His heart was beating quickly, and then he noticed her eyes again. She had fear, sadness, pain, and yet...hope. _Odd, why hope?_ They were much more open, easily read, than when she left. _4 years changes people, I suppose._ Finally, he nodded silently and stood, taking her arm gently, and lead her to the couch. They sat down next to each other and faced the other, his eyes never leaving hers.

Ziva took a deep breath, broke eye contact, and turned to stare at the coffee table in front of her. "I made the biggest mistake in my life when I made you walk out of my life. I have never hurt like that before. But I was prideful. I had made my choice and thought that I had to cut everything out of my life from the old, so as to become a new woman. And yet...two months from our... rendezvous... in the orchard, I found out that I was pregnant." She looked into his eyes. "I considered telling you, but knew that you would try to leave the life you loved. Would leave everything you worked so hard for. And I didn't deserve that."

"Ziva-". She looked at him and held up a hand.

"Anthony, please let me finish. I know that what I did was wrong. I know that I should have told you. You deserved to be with your child, even if I did not deserve to be with you. But I was too proud and stubborn." She looked away from him, unable to watch the pain in his eyes. "Yet, I almost lost Tali at 6 months, and I almost died with her. When in the hospital, I realized that by isolating myself I wasn't finding a new me. I was only losing myself." She took a breath. "Oh, I knew there were things I needed to change. But I could do that anywhere. I needed to come home." She took his hand and looked into his eyes again. "To the US. To you."

He stared at her. "Why didn't you?" His voice clearly showed his confusion and hurt.

"Kort." He nodded slowly. "You knew that he was after you back then? Let me guess, Orli?" _Why didn't you come to us, Ziva? We would have protected you. I would have..._

"Yes. She came to me in the hospital, and told me that he was after me. What you did not know, and probably still do not know, is that Kort was part of a very well hidden cell of terrorists. He worked for the CIA as a cover, and to gather information. They figured to try to intimidate Mossad, open up the area for other cells without fear of Mossad. My father was their first victim actually. They tried to show that noone was safe. Not the head, not active agents, not those who left. They wanted me because it would be quite a coup to eliminate the entire family of the leadership. So I went into hiding." She said with tears beginning to fall. "It was so hard Tony, to hide when I just wanted to come back to you. People were dying for me again, and I wanted away from it. My fears were coming back." Tony's heart broke as he saw her crying. He hated to see her hurting, and so reached out for the first time and pulled her into a hug, running his fingers through her hair. She cried into his shoulder for a couple of minutes, remembering those who died for her. She took a deep breath and snuggled closer in his arms.

"So I ran. I ran for Tali. I ran for the nonexistent chance that you would wait that long for me. Three years of running, Tony. I missed everyone terribly, you most of all. I didn't know if I would see you again, or have you see your daughter. One day Orli stopped by the safe house. Mossad almost had enough intel to start breaking the cell completely. To force their hand, Orli wanted me to fake my murder by them. I would be safe, because I was supposed to be dead, and Tali would be safe in your care, since they thought she was just a bastard child and not worthy of their attention. I gave Tali into Orli's care, and vanished. I prayed that you would be ok, that you could handle it and be the father to our child until I could come to you."

She pulled back from him to look at him. Tony looked at her steadily. What she said made sense, in a weird twisted way. But his entire NCIS career was weird and twisted, so he actually understood it. But that only accounted for two years. Why didn't she come home after Kort was dead? Orli would have told her. "And after they faked your death?"

She pulled away from him and looked back at the table. "Mossad got what information they needed. The next two years I stayed hidden with no news about anything. They couldn't risk anyone figuring out that I was still alive. I asked about you and Tali, but they would never answer, only that you were alive. I feared that you had built a life with a new woman. One without my luggage."

"Baggage." Tony corrected automatically. Ziva still didn't look at him.

"I feared those things for me, as I hoped regardless that you were happy. Orli came to me yesterday around lunch, and said they finished the job, that the terrorists were destroyed. She handed me a suitcase, passport, money, and your address. She would not answer any of my questions about you or Tali, and only said to go to you. And here I am."


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is a bit (ok, quite a bit) on the long side, but it fills you in on Tony, and what he became after he left NCIS. BTW, thanks for the reviews. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _She would not answer any of my questions about you or Tali, and only said to go to you. And here I am."_

* * *

There was silence for a full minute as Tony contemplated what Ziva told him. He wasn't happy about it. He missed years of life that they could have had together, and his little daughter. Yet the bastards never slept, and he would much rather have her in his arms now than to lose her later because of them. He gently took her chin and had her look into his eyes. The smile he graced her with took her breath away. He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. Instead, he slowly lowered his mouth over hers. Her breath hitched as he kissed her: softly, gently, caressing her lips with his. Hot lightning poured through her at his kiss. _Holy crap. I forgot what it was like to kiss him._

They pulled apart slowly, and he smiled that gentle, loving smile at her. "Ziva." He purred her name, and she shivered in pleasure at the sound. He grinned at her reaction. "I forgot what it was like kissing you. I guess four years makes it that much better." She returned his smile. Tony realized that she had changed, substantially. She still had a passion for life (and for love), as it showed in her eyes, but she was much gentler and softer. _More feminine._ He knew she could still break him apart with her bare hands, but he was thrilled at this softer side of her that had grown since she left. He kissed her again, slowly, enjoying the feel of her again against his lips. When they pulled apart again, they both sighed in pleasure. Then she looked at him and saw he changed too. Normally he would have tried to push her into bed to show how much he loved her, which was plainly seen in his kiss. He still had that passion for her, showing clearly in his kiss and the darkening of his eyes, but it was gentler, and more refined. Where had that change come from?

"Tony?"

"Hmm?"

"What about you?"

Tony sighed and let her go to sit back. He stood and went to make coffee for them both, speaking as he went. "It's a long story Ziva. Gosh, I love saying your name again." He smiled. "Let me get some coffee and I'll tell you." In a couple of minutes they both had coffee in their hands, and Tony began.

"I had to leave you at the tarmac. I meant everything I said, everything I did. I loved you so much, and it broke me to leave you. I threw myself into my work. It was all I could think to do. I hoped you would return...but never truly thought you would. You blamed yourself for too much, and wouldn't let those who loved you help." She flinched at the blunt assessment, and he hugged her. "Gotta be honest with you, Zi. You were a mess. Seem to be better now, I hope." He winked, then grew serious again. He took a deep breath. "Gosh Ziva, I missed you more than you could imagine. Abby, McGee, Ducky, Palmer… even Gibbs, tried to help in their own way. I think it scared Gibbs how much it broke me, but he knew I needed work, not time alone. After a year, they figured I needed to move on and start seeing people. I went on a few dates, but none of them were what I was looking for." He looked at her. "They weren't you. Abby even tried setting me up with people. I'm sure you would see where that would go." He chuckled, and took a deep drink of coffee. Ziva smiled a little, more at the first time that she had heard him laugh in 4 years than the thought of Tony seeing other women.

"I started to drink. Not the best moment of my life. Gibbs even got to the point where he threatened to fire me unless I pulled myself together. And so, since NCIS was all I had left, I stopped drinking and put on a 'DiNozzo mask'. I lived a shallow life, trying to show that I was ok so those I cared about wouldn't worry. It worked too, I suppose. Except for Gibbs. He saw straight through it, as you would expect. He started becoming even more of a father figure for me, until I was almost calling him 'dad'. There were a lot of talks with Gibbs in his basement. The new agent, Bishop, did everything she could to help, but we were never as good of coworkers as you and I." He shrugged. "Couldn't live well without you, I guess." This time he flashed her a smile thinking back to her rescue and taking a drink. Then his eyes grew dark and sad.

"Then...two years ago today...was the darkest day of my life." He turned to her after taking another gulp of coffee.

"They told me you were dead. Killed by Kort." Tony took a long shakey breath, and Ziva saw tears in his eyes. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He smiled slightly at her. "I still have nightmares of that day. When I found you were gone. Permanently. I wake up screaming at times, seeing you die in my dreams."

Tony took another deep breath. "If leaving you broke me, news of your murder shattered me. I just wanted to kill Kort, and then die someway myself. Just take more chances at work was the main thought, and if that didn't work, take matters into my own hands. Then," Tony smiled slightly, "there was a little voice that said 'abba'." Tony smiled more broadly thinking about her, "My little daughter Tali. She needed me. After we took down Kort, I left NCIS."

"What?!" Ziva said. "You left?!"

"Yes Zi. I left. NCIS is not safe. Tali needed me since her mom died. I was the last one she had. So I had to stay, and stay well. I couldn't let down another woman who needed me."

"Tony, you did not let me down-" He put his mug down and interrupted her, gently but firmly.

"Yes Zi, I did. You needed me, and I didn't bite the bullet and stay for you. To stay even if you didn't know you needed me. To fight for what you needed. To protect and defend you when you weren't able to face whatever life was throwing at you. When you were weak, I needed to be strong. To be your shield. That's what a man does for his beloved, and I didn't know that fully yet. I thought I was being strong by leaving. Yet you needed me, and I took the easier out." He took another drink. She stared at him, astonished at what he said. She had never heard that before, but it resonated deep within her.

"Your coffee will be cold if you don't start drinking it soon." He said with a DiNozzo smirk. She took a drink and found it was getting a little cool.

"Something never seemed right though. I felt like you were still alive. Like Somalia. I ran through so many different facts that didn't make sense. No body in the house. Somehow you were on the opposite side of the house from Tali? Not likely. Tali's stuff didn't smell like smoke. Her dog was somehow in a go-bag, even though it was her favorite? And the picture of Paris? How would that have gotten in there? The more I saw the more I was sure you were alive." She stared at him. Was she really that obvious?

Tony looked at her and saw her confusion. He laughed, "Left a damn good trail for me to follow by accident, Zi." He grew more serious. "I took Tali and went to Tel Aviv to question Orli. She didn't have answers to my questions, but seemed very sincere that you were, in fact, dead. I doubted her, since she is Mossad." He grinned. "They lie like a rug." Ziva looked at him questioningly. "They lie all the time, Zi." His face fell, and she saw a sadness in his eyes that she couldn't believe as he relived his trip.

"We went to Paris afterwards for a week. I thought we would find you. I kept waiting for a movie-like scene, where Tali would suddenly scream 'Ima', and run into your arms. I went to all our favorite haunts, to the hotel where we stayed. That was hard, knowing that was where we...really were first intimate. We didn't find you." Tears rolled down his cheeks as he saw it again. "We went to Berlin for a week. I was hoping, grasping at straws. You weren't there. We went back to Paris for another week. Then, I finally realized the truth. You were dead, and it was, in fact, simply an extremely odd coincidence. You wouldn't stay away from Tali, especially since Orli would have told you that Kort was dead. But you were gone..." She realized that he was living this moment again, all of the sorrow and pain, and she didn't want him to hurt. She took his face in her hands and made him look at her.

"Anthony, I am here now. I am not leaving. I love you too much." She stood up, lifting him to his feet, and held him close, pushing her body as close to his as she could. "See? Too physical to be a ghost." She ran her hands up and down his back for a few seconds. "Come back to the present, Anthony." He took a shaky breath.

"Sorry Zi. Never talked about that with anyone before." He hugged her tightly, then sat back down, pulling her onto the couch again. "Gibbs didn't talk to me for a couple of months after I got back without you. I don't think he believed that you were dead either. I didn't know what the reason was. He might have blamed me for not bringing his daughter home. I had the best chance of finding you, especially since there was so much between us, and that doesn't even include Tali. He may have also not wanted to see me since you and I were always inseparable. Couldn't see me without seeing you. Turned out it was both." He took another mouthful of coffee.

"I would have fallen to pieces if it weren't for Tali. I would have turned to drinking, sex, and likely wouldn't be alive today if not for her. She needed me though, so I poured everything out for her, going and getting an engineering degree, picking up a job." He grinned at her shocked face. "Yes, my Zee-vah, I'm an engineer now," he drawled, and she grinned at his pronunciation of her name. "Worked like hell to get it, somehow finishing in 1.5 years. Apparently, some of my time in NCIS counted for some of the gen-ed credits. Senior looked after her during the day. She brought him and I together closer too, so I have her to thank for that." He finished his coffee and rose. "Another?" He asked her. She finished hers and nodded. He set to work making more.

"But I was missing something deep in my heart. I remembered Ducky saying that religions could be helpful, so I started poking around. When I was introduced to Catholicism, I was intrigued. After studying more, I found that it made sense logically, and finally opened my heart to God. It was then that I realized it had moved beyond 'I need a crutch' to 'this is true and I love it'."

"Six months later and I was baptized with Tali, and confirmed. I continued teaching her and learning about the Hebrew people so that neither of us would lose that. I strove to learn as much Hebrew as I could to teach her. Unfortunately, I haven't learned too much. It helped me to come to a greater understanding of how Catholicism is simply the continuation of Judaism." He saw her confusion, and waved it away. "I'll tell you more about it later. But I have found a new joy, a home in Christ." Tony looked over at the crucifix on the wall that she hadn't noticed. "I could finally start to heal."

She saw the joy in his eyes, and wondered at it. Tony, a practicing Catholic. It blew her mind. But it explained the change that she saw in him. And the crucifix on the wall. And the painting of the Virgin Mary on the other wall. He was still definitely Tony, but...different. _S_ _elf-giving to the point of insanity, as many thought_. He filled their cups again and sat back on the couch.

"It's in Catholicism that I learned true masculinity. It's not the size of your dick, nor that you never cry, nor that you can beat up the most people. It's your willingness to fight for the right without question or pause. To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause." He grinned at her confused face again. "Don Quixote reference. Look it up. It's about serving others completely. Giving yourself up for them. I realized why I was so drawn to serve Tali and give everything for her. Why I wanted to for you." He stroked her cheek, and tears filled her eyes.

"I'm not perfect at it Ziva. But it's ingrained in my very being. I need to serve those I love." He took another drink and looked at her. "I lived the last year and a half trying to deal with the pain of losing you in this way; in serving those I can, and those I am responsible for. Father Danielson, who was here tonight incidentally, helped me to see this, and to cope with your loss. You'll have to meet him soon, cause he's awesome. The crew helped me too. I still keep in close contact with them. And so I sit here in my house, now recovering from the greatest, and I mean that in both ways, shock of my life." He stopped and put his mug down and looked deep in her eyes for a few seconds. "I never thought I would look into your eyes or hold you again." He pulled her tightly against himself and kissed her softly. When they pulled apart, he gently wiped away the tears falling from her eyes.

"I have always loved you Ziva. I love you with my whole heart."

"I love you too. My dearest Anthony."

* * *

 **I know it's hard to believe that their feelings would be the same after 4 years of separation, but for the sake of not writing a 200k word story, please suspend disbelief and roll with it. Thanks for your cooperation ;).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Addressing comments:**

 **NCIS Obsession – Thanks for your feedback. I intended to have Ziva use 'Anthony' as a term of endearment for very touching moments, something more intimate than 'Tony'. I don't intend for it to be used all the time since I can't remember to have her use it instead =).**

 **Hippiechic81: Don't worry, the others are coming. It's going to be a longer story than I anticipated. Takes much longer to build than I thought without cutting out depth.**

* * *

 _When they pulled apart, he gently wiped away the tears falling from her eyes._

 _"I have always loved you Ziva. I love you with my whole heart."_

 _"I love you too. My dearest Anthony."_

* * *

He held her close as she snuggled into him. They had talked a bit more, but she was falling asleep. She hadn't slept in the past 48 hours, and the adrenaline from seeing him was wearing off. She loved being held by him. He was safe, warm; her heart's home. He had waited for her against all hope. He treasured her. Her breathing slowed as she almost fell asleep in his arms. He chuckled at her and shifted, picked her up, and carried her into his room. She cuddled closer to him as he laid beside her, pulled her close, and fell asleep.

He woke in the morning to his alarm going off. He noticed that one of his arms was trapped by something and he almost panicked, stopping when he saw a dark head of hair next to him, cuddled close to him. He was terrified for the couple of seconds _What have I done?_ Then he remembered that it was Ziva. His Ziva. Safe, alive, and in his arms. He was so relieved she was safe that a tear escaped, but he was thrilled. His Ziva was alive. He couldn't get enough of it. There was no way he would be going to work today, but he needed to tell his boss that. He gently and slowly extracted himself from Ziva's sleeping form and walked into the hallway with his phone.

"Hello, Patrick Stevens."

"Hey Patrick, it's Tony."

"What's up Tony?"

"Something very, very good came up, and I won't be in today or tomorrow. I'll fill you in more when I get back in Monday. That ok with you?"

Patrick was intrigued, but let it slide. "I know that nothing is coming in in the next two days, so sure thing. Either use personal days or work late to make it up." "Sounds good. Thanks Patrick." Patrick laughed. "I'll see you Monday Tony. Take care." Tony hung up the phone, and called Tali's school, telling them she would be out until Monday as well. Then he called Senior.

"Hey Dad. Could you stop by around 11 instead? I have great news, and I'll be at home today. I will need to make a run into town though. Could you stop out at 11?"

A tired sounding Senior spoke over the line. "Sure son. Just next time, could you call a little later than 7?"

"Yeah dad, sorry. I'll see you then." Tony hung up, then walked back into his room. _Gosh, she's gorgeous, even when she's sleeping. Even snoring_. He laughed quietly, and slid back into bed. She moved towards his warmth, snuggling against him in her sleep. And heaven help him, she turned him on like he was a teenager again. But he stopped himself. He loved her enough to wait until it was their marriage bed. He just held her close and watched her. Unfortunately, thoughts started popping into his head that he didn't have an answer for. They all revolved around one central thought: was she here to stay, regardless of what may happen or how tough life may get.

After a half hour, her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled warmly. "Good morning Anthony." "Good morning Ziva."

She looked deeply into his eyes. She hadn't slept so soundly in years. No nightmares, no fear; just safe and warm in his arms. _I love this man._ She ground herself sleepily against him, and he stopped her gently. "Please Zi, don't do that, or I won't be able to control myself. As much as I want to take you _right this instant_ , I need to wait for marriage now." She stopped, looking confused and hurt. "Ziva, I'm now a member of the Catholic Church, and I promised and intend to follow her moral law. I will explain the why's behind the sexual morals to you whenever you would like to understand why I'm turning down what I want so much. It's actually really beautiful. There is a document, called _Humanae Vitae-_ " Then she kissed him. "I will wait for you, Tony, even if I'm not thrilled with the idea. And I want to know about your faith, just not right this instant. I'm just sad I do not get you right now. But I will wait for you." She felt him against her, and grinned, happy that she still had that effect on him. "At least, I will try to wait for you." He grinned back at her. "That's all I can ask."

They held each other close for a while. Then Tony said "Tali will be getting up soon." Ziva looked at him, a little scared. "She will know you Zi. I did continue your tradition of telling her a story about us after each bedtime story. Come on, I'll make you both breakfast."

She and Tony made up breakfast and began eating. She laughed at how quickly and how much he was eating. "Good to know nothing changed with your appetite."

He looked up at her and grinned for a second, then suddenly stopped eating. "Are you here to stay, Zi?" She looked up in confusion. "Yes, I was intending to. I have nowhere else to stay right now." She began to look a little scared. "Do you want me to stay?"

He braced himself, then said "I do want you to stay. But only if you are actually going to stay through it all. I'm talking long term. I know there were extenuating circumstances that kept you away, but you still left me three times. Can I trust you not to leave again?"

She felt hurt, but understood his hesitation. She had hurt him more than she knew, even now. But she would stick by him after almost losing him. She wasn't going anywhere, for both Tony and Tali. "I will not leave you again Tony. I promise." Tony nodded, and let the matter drop, finishing demolishing his breakfast.

* * *

Tony went to get Tali up. "Hey Tali. Come on, wake up." Tali looked at him sleepily. "Mommy is here darling. In the kitchen." Tali stared at him a moment, and when he made a shooing motion with his hands, she shot out of bed and ran into the kitchen screaming "Ima! Ima!". She hurled herself into Ziva's arms, clinging tightly to her. Tony followed, tears in his eyes at this reunion. Ziva was crying unashamedly, babbling to Tali in Hebrew. Eventually Tali spoke to her.

"I missed you Ima. Abba said you died and were in heaven. How are you here? Did you rise from the dead, like Lazaraus?"

Tony smiled and touched her arm to get her attention. "No, little one. Daddy was wrong. She was not able to get to us from over the ocean where she was living, but now she's here." Tali beamed and accepted everything without further explanation. _Eventually we will tell her, just not yet,_ Tony thought.

"I'm so happy you are here! Now we have a family again, with a daddy and mommy!" Tali's eyes shown with happiness.

"Yes darling, mommy and daddy are here." Ziva grinned broadly at that statement. _Mommy and daddy_. _Just like a normal family.  
_

It took some persuading, but Tony got Tali disengaged from her mother's neck and sent her off to brush her teeth and get dressed. He assured her that mommy was there to stay, she wouldn't go anywhere, and that Tali would be staying home today and tomorrow from school. She tripped off looking very happy, glad to have her family back.

* * *

"She has quite the vocabulary for a four and a half year old." Ziva said. "Worked hard to teach her, Tony?"

Tony smiled. "She's smart and beautiful, just like her mom."

Ziva thought about her escape and the unintentional trail she had left. _Not too smart there, Ziva!_ Come to think of it, she was damn lucky that she was still alive after all the mistakes she made and events she didn't plan for. She was just grateful that she had her man and daughter again. Ziva walked over and held him close as he prepared Tali's breakfast. "So when will we make it official?" Tony knew what she meant.

"I intended to take a month or two to court you. Six months ish for the engagement, per wedding prep in the Church." He looked at her, a little shyly. "I haven't seen you in 4 years. We both have changed. I want to get to know you again, then marry you. I need to grow in trust with you." She looked a little scared, and hurt. But she knew that one reunion did not change years of building distrust. He turned and kissed her. "I want to marry you, darling. It's not an if with me. It's a when."

She smiled, and kissed him softly. She loved his soft kisses; they made her melt into him. They blew her away at his tenderness, his love, his care. Of course, the sensations that shot through her at his touch were definitely pleasant! When they pulled apart, they smiled at each other, and Tony turned back to his cooking.

"Did you let any of the others know you are alive?" Tony asked. Ziva froze.

"To be honest...I forgot. I just needed to see you, and forgot the rest for the time."

Tony laughed. He was doing that a lot lately. "Then let's make today one of their best days too. Senior is coming at 11 to watch Tali, and we can go see them and pick up lunch. Then we will come back and be our family again. Work for you?"

Ziva grinned at him. "You have thought of everything."

"I tend to." Tony smirked his best DiNozzo smirk until Ziva kissed him breathless.

* * *

 **Time for a shameless plug for a TV series that I absolutely love. It's called "Sue Thomas: F. B. Eye". It follows a deaf woman as she joins the FBI. It's family friendly without losing the crime investigation side of it. It focus' pretty heavily on the personal interactions between people in her group. If you watch it, and enjoy it (and my writing), I started a story for that series called "For Now: Continuing On".**


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